


Sans s'avouer nos différences (Without Confessing Our Differences).

by KlingonEtiquette



Category: Kamen Rider OOO
Genre: Bittersweet, Denial of Feelings, Light Angst, M/M, Mild Language, being possessed can make you cranky, eiji is a ray of sunshine, shingo is also a ray of sunshine just a bit gloomy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-01
Updated: 2019-01-01
Packaged: 2019-10-02 00:18:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17254067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KlingonEtiquette/pseuds/KlingonEtiquette
Summary: "Parties brought out the best and worst in everyone. Shingo supposed he was no different. Sitting in the back of Chiyoko's restaurant, gingerly nursing a cup of strong coffee, he felt like an outsider. He knew these people. No, Ankh knew these people. And much as he'd like to, Shingo couldn't just waltz into their lives and fill the hole left behind by Ankh's departure. He wasn't Ankh. He would never be Ankh."Mild angst in the beginning, then some cute/fluffy admissions of feelings. The title comes from a song called "La guerre pour se plaire."





	Sans s'avouer nos différences (Without Confessing Our Differences).

Parties brought out the best and worst in everyone. Shingo supposed he was no different. Sitting in the back of Chiyoko's restaurant, gingerly nursing a cup of strong coffee, he felt like an outsider. He knew these people. No,  _Ankh_ knew these people. And much as he'd like to, Shingo couldn't just waltz into their lives and fill the hole left behind by Ankh's departure. He wasn't Ankh. He would never be Ankh. The way Eiji looked at him, so full of sorrow and hurt, Shingo wished he could make it stop. The way Eiji looked at Shingo...  _It's like I'm a ghost._ In a way, he thought, he was a ghost. When Eiji looked at him, he was something like a spirit. Ankh's face looked back at Eiji and Shingo knew that face was a face Eiji had loved. 

"Shingo." Hina pulled up a chair and sat beside him, her face pinched with worry. "Do you want to go home?"

He shook his head. "No, I'm all right. You should... you should spend time with your friends." 

"What about you?" 

That worry in his sister's voice... Shingo thought,  _It's because of me_ , and then quickly pushed the thought away. He couldn't let her see him like this, lost and uncertain, just this side of afraid. He could pretend for one night that his heart wasn't breaking. He could pretend for a night that he didn't notice the way Chiyoko looked at him with such pity. She knew all about Ankh, of course, but that didn't make it any better. She, too, regarded Shingo as a ghost. A memory. 

"I'm fine," Shingo insisted. "It's just strange." 

With one last worried glance, Hina disappeared into the crowd. All these people made Shingo's head hurt. Coffee made it better, at least a little and at least for a moment. But with so many people around, Shingo couldn't hide. He couldn't run. He could only sit and watch as this familiar world made a stranger of him. 

And then there was Hino Eiji. Shingo wondered if it was something left behind by Ankh, but his heart picked up whenever he caught sight of Eiji. Was it because of Ankh that he felt this way or because of him that Ankh had fallen for Eiji? Shingo had to admit, Eiji was exactly the type he usually fell for—handsome, kind, and a touch disorganized—but had he influenced Ankh or was Ankh influencing him? Either way, he couldn't help but feel awkward about it. After all, he barely knew Eiji. And if he did somehow find the courage to tell Eiji, what would Eiji say? Would he reject him? Would he accept only because Shingo and Ankh shared a nearly identical appearance? 

 _This is ridiculous_ , Shingo thought, getting to his feet. He turned toward the door, seeking fresh air to clear his thoughts, and bumped into—

"I'm so sorry!" It was Hino Eiji. Of course it was. "God, I'm so fucking clumsy. Did you drop your drink? I can go get you a new one if—"

"It's fine!" Shingo said, a little too quickly. "I wasn't holding a drink. You're fine."

Eiji heaved a sigh of relief. "Oh, good." He glanced between Shingo and the door. "Were you leaving?"

"I..." There wasn't anything he could say that wouldn't sound strange, so Shingo said, "Just for a moment. I need some air." 

"Do you mind if I join you?" It was the last thing Shingo wanted Eiji to say. 

But he shrugged and nodded. "I guess not. Come on." 

Outside, Shingo closed his eyes and took a deep breath.  _I can get through this. It's nothing. I'm twenty-five years old. I'm a detective. I can deal with a crush_. Beside him, Shingo heard Eiji let out a breathy laugh, the kind Shingo recognized as awe. The night sky, he remembered, was one of Eiji's favorite sights. So he opened his eyes. 

"Beautiful," he whispered. And it was. Stars stretched like pinpricks in a lampshade across the navy blue night sky. In them, Shingo saw stories, hopes, and wishes. He saw what Ankh had seen in them—something wonderful and magical. 

His heart broke. 

"I'm sorry," Eiji said. "For falling for Ankh. I had no right to kiss him without asking you—"

"It was fine," Shingo said. "I gave Ankh permission long before you asked."

Eiji looked surprised. "You did?"

"Yes. I don't know why I did it. I guess I felt like I knew you. It was all right, really. When Ankh spent time with you, I rested. I guess you could say I was dormant."

"Like a volcano?" Eiji asked, smiling. 

"Hmm. Something like that." Shingo glanced up through his eyelashes. "Yeah. It wasn't any of my business. Even if I... Never mind."

Eiji's hand fell on Shingo's elbow, the gentlest brush of fingers on the sleeve of Shingo's shirt, and Shingo turned to face him. Eiji asked, "Even if you what?"

Shingo didn't have it in him to lie. "I fell for you, too. Why do you think Ankh did? I... When I met you on that case, I thought there was something about you that I wanted to know better. You were open, honest, kind to people you barely knew. I admired you and I... thought you were cute. I would never have said anything before. I wasn't..."

"No one knew?"

"No one knew," Shingo agreed. It felt good to say this now, openly and without the gnawing anxiety he was used to. "But now they do. And I'm different now. I think I'm somehow wiser than I was before all this. I understand myself better because... I wasn't myself. You know what I mean?"

Eiji's puzzled face was answer enough. "I don't know if I do." 

"It's nothing. Never mind. I just... Even if you don't feel anything, I need you to know that I... I care about you." It felt stupid.  _Shingo_ felt stupid. He lowered his eyes to the ground, not daring to look at Eiji anymore. 

But Eiji's hand under his chin turned his face back, a gentle touch that painted his cheeks scarlet and summoned the roaring of blood in his ears until he could barely hear anything else. He wondered if this was stupid. He wondered, too, if this was crazy. None of it mattered. None of it mattered so long as Shingo could tell Eiji how he felt, so long as he knew Eiji knew. 

"Don't be silly," Eiji said, soft as a summer breeze through the trees. "How long have you been back?"

"A month?" Shingo guessed. "A bit more, maybe."

Eiji nodded, smiling. "And there were those days we had you back." 

"Yeah?" 

"Yeah."

"So are you saying you...?" Shingo's breath rushed out of him in a shaky laugh. Eiji never stopped smiling, only took Shingo's face in his hands and pressed their foreheads together. Much as Shingo wanted him to, Eiji did not close the distance for a kiss. Not yet. So Shingo savored the moment, breathing in the scent of Eiji's raspberry shampoo. 

And then Eiji closed his eyes. "Is it okay if I kiss you?"

Shingo nodded and, finally, Eiji leaned in to kiss him. It was a soft kiss, with Eiji's hands still resting on the sides of Shingo's face, with Shingo's arms wrapped around Eiji's waist, with the stars above them and the pavement under their feet. It was a kiss without the memory of Ankh looming over Shingo's head like some ghoulish specter. Here, finally, he could simply be Shingo and Eiji could simply be Eiji, and they could simply be together. It was uncomplicated. It was bittersweet.

It was perfect. 

 


End file.
